PHOENIX is quietly rewriting an internal guilt standard I've lived with my whole life. Guilt has often overpowered joy.

Phoenix hasn't given me those gut pulls, rounds of heavy tears, or even strong fears hanging on for days which would be expected on any emotional healing sub. What it is doing is quietly rewriting that internal guilt standard I've lived with all my life. For me, it's so subtle that it takes effort to describe it. I sit here and feel internal changes. Yet the me that's used healing subs for almost 7 years is used to doubting. But those subtle changes keep showing. I just feel better, like I have a choice to believe changes are happening. The fact that I can walk into a good feeling still can feel like a fantasy. But I keep being able to do it. I've never had that happen before. Guilt and the fear of guilt have often overpowered joy. I got weepy writing that. It's changing something.