Day 9 on GLM: finally able to say No without drowning in guilt — a backbone is returning

GLM: The Commander, Day 9. I'm really starting to regain a backbone lately and it feels great. Saying no for me is hard because of bad early conditioning. I was raised by someone who would cry every time I would venture off to be slightly more independent. I attribute a lot of shame and guilt to my masculine qualities, so they became suppressed and taboo for me. The smallest masculine qualities — like just being assertive and saying No — would trigger that pain. Every time I said No to someone, I felt the guilt of causing their emotional mayhem, which has been a lie this entire time. To be able to say no so many times this week and not feel guilt over it is great progress. I can't please everyone, but I can be pleased with myself.